Hurt
Sometimes, i feel like it all hurts and that the words that people.. or one person says always tries to have a negative affect on me. I know they dont see the world as i do and i hate that for them, but the hardest part is that they dont understand that their view of the world does not apply to me. The hurt and the pain that has shaped and molded their view on life isnt one that i have. They see me as having a look on life that's unrealistic.. but why is that? Is it soooo unlikely that i could have a beautiful life that i picture and dream about? Why can't I have a happy ever after you see in the movies? I HATE that she thinks im stupid and i know that's how she feels..
I'm not dumb i know that times will be hard, i know that the world isn't rainbows and butterflies, but i also know that I can be happy and that IT WILL HAPPEN!! every negative thing that comes out of her mouth such as tonight's comment about me recording Dear John , "if i didnt believe that God has someone out there for everyone i'd really think you'd end up with cats" Who says that to another person? Whoever came up with the saying "sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me"??? they were stupid and they are now a douche bag and i want to pour salt in their eyes... anywho... i've started listening to my worship music now so im letting this go and praying that devil away from my mind and my heart!! Thank you God for words that always bring joy and happiness to me..
It's funny because people that see me at school and even on fb that only know me surface level would never expect a post like this from me, but we chatted about it in class how you'd never suspect certain things from people.. i know im one of those people... you wouldn't expect it but everyone hurts, and goes through things you couldn't imagine.. I have alot of hurt in me and put on a brave face and not just a face all the time but a lot of the time im being brave and thinking of the greatness i have in my life because I know that God is still there working in me.. Im so grateful for him and know that if i didnt know him, then i'd be a Peyton Sawyer carrying around all this hurt and sadness in my heart and life.
